Description
by Adenil
Summary: Seven things about Seven of Nine and loves own trueness. SevenJaneway


Title: Description

Summary: Seven things about Seven of Nine and loves own trueness.

Pairing: Seven/Janeway

Disclaimer: No, I don't own them, really. If I did own Star Trek you'd see a lot less of it on family television. (And that whole T'pol butt thing would be like nothing compared to the rest….) Also, alternate universe type thing.

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I remember that first day I saw her. Even then, with her mottled gray skin and implants, yes even then she was still beautiful. I still found her fascinating. I wanted to teach her, and talk to her, just be with her if I could. I knew I couldn't let her, or anyone else for that matter, find out. I put up a front. I was motherly, I was enthusiastic, I was very careful. I couldn't let her see me for what I was. She was so young, if not in body, then in mentality. She was beautiful, that is for sure, no matter what she will always be beautiful to me. But I knew I couldn't let her see the way I felt. So I hid, I didn't let her know.

_Attraction_

On the bridge of the ship, just sitting in my chair, staring, that's what I'm doing. I try so hard to hide my stare. But I know I never can. Thankfully, she is oblivious. Never noticing that I would stare so openly at her. At the way her body moves beneath that uniform she wears. At the way her mouth forms every syllable of every word. The way what's left of her implants catch the light. Shes beautiful and always will be. I stare a little more, maybe… Oh no. She has noticed. As her eyes lock on to mine she sends me a look, too. I interpret as _'Back off.' _What else can I do? I turn back and face the view screen again. But I know things can't be the same again. Shes noticed, now she will be forced to do something. Not by me, but by her mentality. It's the only way.

_Junction_

No one ever said moping in ones quarters ever did any good, but that doesn't stop me. I've been here for days, just trying to get that look out of my head. It seems I will be in here for days more, until the door chimes. Before I can think the singular word pops from my mouth.

"Come"

And the door slides open, and of course, she comes in. Her blonde hair catching the light as she walks nearer, but of course not to near, to me. I can see she means business, and she doesn't waste time. But then, that isn't in her nature.

"Captain we need to talk."

I decide the only way to deal with this is to cut it off at the pass. "Seven, I apologize. I really, should have told you."

She interrupts, of course, "Then it is true, you do harbor romantic feelings for me?"

Its no use and I know it. "Yes, I'm sorry but I do."

She gives me a look that is clear. _'You are an idiot.'_ And the next thing I know I'm being pressed into the wall by her body, her lips moving against my own. I quickly warm; after all I've done this before. But never, ever, have I felt this feeling. Of joy and love and some other things I can't place. I know I will always remember our first kiss.

_Perfection_

It doesn't take long for us to settle into life together. And on this ship, soon everyone knows. But that's okay with me; the only problem is… it's not okay with her. Before I can process what's happening, we're arguing. Maybe arguing isn't the right word, more like fighting, tooth and nail. As we shout I'm glad the walls have selective sound-blocking. No one else can hear this bickering. Why should she care? It is not that big of a deal, a point I try to make to her. But she just stops talking, stops yelling. All I can do is stare at that hurt puppy dog look. And she stands, and she leaves. And I know it's not just something we can make up. Shes gone. And I don't even really know what happened.

_Destruction_

I've tried to make up with her, lord knows I've tried. Again and again. And she doesn't seem to notice. It's as if 'we' never were. That our time spent together was nothing, or didn't happen. I don't know what to do. But when I look at her, and get nothing but cold stares back, I've got nothing. I just sort of drift through the Delta quadrant, trying to find my way home. But the thing is I did find home once. And it was her. And she refuses to admit it ever again. I don't know why, maybe I'll never know why. All I can do is try to shake the feeling she gives me. Of such longing, and sadness, all wrapped into one.

_Confusion_

We were captured. Not the whole ship, somehow only that lovely Seven and I. She still doesn't acknowledge me, I still don't know why. I still love her, and as we go to our deaths in the back of some alien space craft, I feel I must reiterate.

"Seven," I whisper out that lovely number-turned-name, "I think there is something you should know." She doesn't talk, doesn't even move, just stares ahead, listening. "Even when we were… together, I never said it, but Seven, I do love you. I did love you, I love you now, and I will love you as long as I live."

She doesn't move, and I wonder if she didn't already know. She turns and when I see the look on her face, pure joy wells in my heart. She knew I loved her, and she loves me back. Before I know it we're together again. With as much joy and feeling as our first kiss.

_Retribution_

Shes dead and gone, has been for forty years. Long before we ever got back to the Alpha quadrant, stray missile fire that's how she went. We made up that day, and six weeks later she was gone to me again. But this time nothing I did changed that. I'm old now, well, old enough anyway. So I decided it would be okay if I went to bed tonight, and didn't get up tomorrow. This is what I try to do. And it succeeds, somewhat. When I open my eyes I'm out of body, staring down. And she is there. Of course she is there. She is always there, and always has been. She tells me as much. And I just sort of grin and take her hand and we go away together. Together, such beautiful word, that.

_And once again, perfection_

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Authors note: Plot bunny that's been bouncing around for a while. Sorry, but I had to get it out of my system. Yes, I know it sucks and doesn't make any sense, but then that's the way I like it. Thanks for reading, please review.


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